thats pretty cool and scary.
i am grateful this morning that aside from my rapid heart beat and inability to gather a satisfying breath, along with feelings of regret, guilt, and general emptiness, i have not gone blind, stopped my heart, gotten into a devastating accident, or anything else that is likely to happen when you trash your body the way i have the past few days (weeks?). another opportunity to be a healthy adult.
slong as i dont hyperventilate or somethin in the next few hours.
thanks body, for generally sleeping pretty well every night, for resting and rejuvenating, for digesting food, for engaging unused muscles on command, for resisting every message i've sent that seems to say "i dont care about you" and just keeping all this stuff goin.
i hope the blood finds its way back to my heart and it loves something when that does happen.
i will try not to devastate my brain and soul and general well being this way again.
this is my apology to myself. i'm sorry.
